Learning to forgive

LEARNING TO FORGIVE

Yes, I am learning to forgive you.

And No, that does Not mean

That things are normal as they seem,

Or that what you did was fine.

It wasn't.

Breaking a child's trust is a terrible crime.

And yet,

I am learning to forgive you.

As I am beginning to see a new frame,

that says forgiving is not the same

As justice for me,

or an excuse for you.

Or even reconciliation, for that needs two.

Yes two - you and me.

And yet deep inside I know,

The remorse I wished to see,

you never did show.

Yet, I am learning to forgive you,

For the burning charcoal I held for years,

While it got more fuelled with my tears,

It did nothing to heal the pain,

The hurt, the scars, the shame.

All it did was burn my hand,

As I struggled to take a stand.

Sometimes confronting,

sometimes silent I fought,

Yet each time, denial is all I got.

And so,

I am learning to forgive.

For it is slowly beginning to dawn,

That if I truly need to move on,

I need to be more mindful to what I do,

To myself by holding onto

this anger for you.

So, I choose to drop this charcoal.

It does not belong to me.

And by forgiving you,

I honour my own divinity.